You could do anything, if only you dared

nidoranduran:

Petition to create the term “rad herring” for when you something in a story has no bearing on the actual plot and won’t help piece together any of the big twists, but is just too fucking awesome an idea not to include.

maxknightley:

Absolutely love this post. Think of it every time I use a wooden spoon

raptorific:

lungthief:
“i wish there was a movie like dead poets society that wasnt so sad :(“ um there is? it’s called school of rock
jack black could do dead poets society and robin williams could do school of rock

officialunitedstates:

smexing:
officialunitedstates:
zreje:
officialunitedstates:
they call it a heartbeet because your heart looks like a beet
this is so true
I know
What’s going on here
text post I made about heart beets and someone said they thought it was true and I told them I knew that

empathviv:

people are always trying to humanize dracula and hes always trying to draculize humans

cowgurls:

kingantlion:

smallest-feeblest-boggart:
ego-ann-16:
phantoms-lair:
ankaa-avarshina:
lorem64:
ankaa-avarshina:
lorem64:
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom
wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

ashstfu:

my internal monologue is better than any podcast. wish you guys could hear this shit

potatochipped:

coexistencex:
yellowpainteater:
wats he doin
His best

shitload-of-muses:

paper-mario-wiki:
if u ever find a genie and you’re really craving a dessert that looks like this:
do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”
while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it’s ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps.
this is an oddly specific post are you ok